We jointly decided following diagnosis of high grade prostate cancer to have the prostate removed by surgery. This was done in late summer 2023. Three times 3 monthly PSA testing followed and the third test showed an increased score. This was devastating news as we knew the cancer had returned. It was around 9 months after his surgery. The months following surgery we realised that the nerve sparing surgery had not worked. This was very upsetting for both of us but especially my husband. Then the news that it had returned brought months of anxiety as we waited for tests and then results. The PSMA petscan took almost three months wait. The cancer was stage 4 and had spread to bones, rib and sacrum. It was a lot to take in. We were told in the November 2024, he may have 2-4 years. My husband took the decision not to share the news with anyone, not our children, or any family. I initially didn’t agree but I respected his decision. He is on a regime of 3 monthly injections and daily medication. This has affected his energy levels, although he continues to work full time, self employed and also bowls. His mobility has suffered as he was always quite fit for his age, having said that, he’s still doing really well. He is 76. He had three rounds of chemotherapy, every 3 weeks, starting in January 2025. He was due to have 6, but he did not respond well and the treatment made him sick which resulted in 2 hospital stays. His consultant decided to stop treatment and save for further down the line, when he may require more chemotherapy. It took him a while to get over that period of illness. The follow up appointments since have all been positive with negligible PSA score and even after a year, a second PSMA scan showed the chemo had a positive effect on the bone tumours. We just live a normal life, knowing that at any time things may change. We have decided to ignore the prognosis and hope for the best. Only then will he perhaps then share his diagnosis with family. It has brought us even closer together as a couple, it makes you appreciate what’s important.
I took the decision to share our news with a few close family members, my mum and sisters. This helped me as I had someone to talk to and share when things got tough. The chemo treatment being one of those times. It was just awful seeing your loved one suffering and so desperately ill and I was glad I had someone. They all agreed to keep the news private and have been a great source of support. I think my husband may have guessed but he doesn’t mention it and so neither do I. We’re funny like that… I did try Maggies centre but it wasn’t for me… they do a wonderful job and maybe one day I’ll need them, just not now. I would also say, it was me who read up everything I could about the cancer diagnosis and the treatments, especially in those early months. It helped me feel in control and I could share with my husband when it was appropriate. It may help others too. I retired last year and want my husband to retire so we can spend more time together. However, I’ve ended up working a couple of days a week and it’s good to have a routine. We plan to travel a bit more and just enjoy our life. We also moved to a bungalow, hoping that it will make our lives easier if mobility becomes more difficult further down the line.
By sharing your experience of prostate cancer on the infopool you can help others. Your experience is valuable as they go through their own journey. Help make the prostate cancer community stronger.
