Lisa's Story

White British
Sexual Orientation
North West
Relationship status

Do you have any tips or advice that may help others support those who are going through treatment, including with any ongoing side effects?

Take each day one day as a time, make memories, cherish your time together. Get out on good days live each day to it's fullest. Rest when they rest if they get upset or frustrated understand they are going through hell and there terrified. Respect there wishes & choices. Look after yourself so you can look after them. Be there advocate and voice speak up& be heard.

Please tell us how their treatment impacted your life the most.

My Lovely Dad Jimmy was diagnosed in hospital while alone he was very upset. He asked the doctor to call me they didn't. I called him to check he was okay he was very emotional and teary he couldn't speak. He was in hospital for 5 weeks he came home & had to shield for 12 weeks. I took 9 months off work to care for him as I lived with him & could not do the job I did & keep my dad safe & free from infection. He originally had carers but they had no PPE so dad was scared of getting an infection or Covid. I did everything for dad. I tried to keep him occupied with cards, audio books, chess, music. My dad was a very active & sociable man. He became very anxious, down and generally sad. Unfortunately Dad's mobility decreased and he fell & was taken to hospital. This was at the hight if the Pandemic, he was in for 10 days. I could not visit him, I went every day & dropped off his paper & treats. There was other patients who were mobile and came out of the ward to see there family. I was so upset about this I cried everyday. I spoke to my dad daily he was up & down he was very emotional. Although he could not walk or stand without his leg giving way. They still got him up to stand daily which increased his pain. He was then transferred to the Hospice at the hospital they were amazing with him. The chef came in to him daily asking him what he would like & always catered for his dietary needs as he was a vegetarian. In the hospice he was allowed 2hr visit a day he was allowes 6 visitors butonly 2 at a time. While thete he filled in a music questionnaire which he enjoyed as he loved music. He had visits from his dog Tilly which he missed & Loved dearly. On my Birthday while he was at the Hospice they wrote me a Lovely birthday message on the whiteboard in his room. They hoisted him as he couldn't stand. He had a MRI scan which showed the cancer had spread to all of his lower body bones. He desperately wanted to go home & he did. He was only home for 11 days & died at home in my arms the same as my Lovely Mum 3 tears earlier with Bowel Cancer. I think because he seen what happened to Mum he was aware if what was happening. He never said but am sure this scared him a lot. My Dad was told in the April he had years to live & was fine 7 months later he died at home. This absolutely devastated me all over again.

Thinking about your own wellbeing, what has helped you to cope, and where have you gone to find support? What tips and advice would you give to others?

Take each day 1 day at a time. Look after yourself. Breathe and take 5 when you need to. Rest when you can. Keep busy. When family or carers come pop for a shower, sleep to the shop.

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