Kate's Story

Listen to Kate's story about her experience of her partner's prostate cancer, how she's managing and the impact it's had on her life.

White British
Sexual Orientation
North West
Relationship status
Married/In a Civil Partnership

Do you have any tips or advice that may help others support those who are going through treatment, including with any ongoing side effects?

With regard to the after effects of the prostatetcomy, being calm and supportive worked in our case. Lots of reassurance and encouragement was necessary because unlike some of the stories I read my OH was very incontinent after the catheter was removed and he was quite demoralised by this as he had been doing his pelvic floor exercises for several months before the op. He has reduced the number of pads he is using over the weeks but still needs 3 or so a day, so my job is to reassure that it's early days and that things will improve (but not really knowing if this will happen or not).

Please tell us how their treatment impacted your life the most.

The constant preoccupation with research has taken over my life; i am constantly checking the Prostate Cancer UK Community web site and a Facebook group for prostate cancer to read about others' journeys; I am scouring the internet for latest research. I find that I'm permanently obsessed and exhausted by it but I can't seem to stop. Probably becuase we still don't know the full picture so I am reviewing all the likely further treatment options. I seem to be doing this as my other half is relying on me for all the information - he doesn't want to look at much research himself. I find a bathroom full of boxes of incontinence pads a depressing sight if I'm honest but it's not something that I share with anyone.

Thinking about your own wellbeing, what has helped you to cope, and where have you gone to find support? What tips and advice would you give to others?

I couldn't have manageded without one or two very close friends who have understood and got me through the dark times and have never said 'but it's a good cancer' ...so my advice would be to find some people you trust to share your fears and worries and off load to; speak to the fantastic nurses at Prostate Cancer UK who are so calmly supportive, never minimise a concern and are full of valuable information. Finally take care of YOU- you matter too and oftentimes the carer/partner gets lost; it's not selfish to look after yourself from time to time.

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